mishacollinscrotch:

thefasstimes:

“isn’t that a little gay” my friend asks

“yes” i respond as i look at the miniature homosexual sitting on my desk “it is”

(Source: there-th3re)

alegbra:

alegbra:

i heard some kids talking this morning during breakfast about how tumblr is just full of bad puns and weird porn and they don’t understand it and i just turned around and said “my puns are excellent” and turned back around

none of my popular text posts even involve puns

actually on second thought you guys should make this post popular just so maybe it will show up on their dashboard and i can just nod smugly at them tomorrow morning

snow-angel-castiel:

aangnog:

probend:

PE is 5% exorcise and 95% embarrassment 

what kind of gym class do you have that exorcises their kids

gallifreyantimelady:

gallifreyantimelady:

my dad said that this knife he was looking at was too thin and i said ‘all the better to slit throats with’ and he didn’t even react

he said that he’s used to hearing my satanic homicidal remarks

cleadmau5:

larapeople:

I just realized that the word bed looks like a bed

My brain literally stopped working for a second